How Many Relatives and Friends Have You Killed?

[Ayinde]

How Many Friends, Classmates, and Relatives Have You Sent to Their Early Graves?

You may never know the answer until you read this story.

“Dr. John Saka, thank you for attending my dad’s wake. Always remember this, sir: you killed my father.”

These were the exact words David used to open his appreciation speech during his father’s wake. The room fell into a deafening silence, and every guest held their breath in disbelief. St. Bernard’s Old Students’ members, including Dr. Saka was visibly shocked. The weight of those words hit hard, and the confusion on Dr. Saka’s face was evident.

For fifteen long seconds, the silence in the room was unbearable, each person wrestling with their own questions: How? Why? What happened?

David broke the silence, continuing with his speech:

“It is true that God gives life and takes it away, but sometimes, people—like Judas—play a tragic role in how death occurs. My father’s trust and respect for Dr. Saka, who happened to be one of his best friends, led to his early grave. My dad didn’t need your mourning today. He needed you to honour him while he was still alive by answering his calls. This is my father’s phone.”

David held up the phone for everyone to see.

“The record of his call logs and WhatsApp messages is right here. Over the last eight months, my father called you 32 times. You answered only four times, each time promising to call back. On WhatsApp, he sent you 84 messages. You replied to only 22. Out of those, 16 were nothing more than ‘Amen’ in response to his monthly prayers and greetings. Out of the remaining six, on February 2nd of this year, you wrote: ‘I’m not in the country; I’ll see you when I’m back in two weeks.’ You never responded again until June 7, when he sent you birthday wishes and reminded you of your promise to see him. Your response was, ‘Thanks, my friend, I appreciate it.’

My father, trusting your medical expertise, held onto the hope that you would help him. On June 12, after reaching out to you, he told you he was very sick and needed your professional advice. You read the message that same day, yet you did not reply until July 21, when he messaged you again, saying, ‘John, I’m dying.’ Your response? ‘Sorry, it’s been a busy week. Let’s see what happens next week.’

That ‘next week’ became two months. When my father sent his last message on September 2, asking why you were ignoring him, you replied: ‘Sorry, my friend, I hardly have time for myself these days.’ Six days later, my father died.”

David’s voice trembled as he continued, “Dr. Saka, my father trusted you more than any other doctor. He believed you cared enough to give him the best advice. He stopped taking his medications, waiting for you to fulfil your promise to see him in February. Instead of telling him that you couldn’t be available, you kept promising later.’ He waited for seven months. I know all this because I was the one typing the texts on his behalf. Every day, he would ask, ‘Did John send a message?’ On the morning he died, he said, ‘I made a mistake trusting John, but why didn’t he help?’ My father never got an answer to that question, but maybe, Dr. Saka, you can answer to others who may need your help in the future.
Thank you for coming today, though it feels like a belated honour.”

At this point, David turned to the audience and asked:
“As a doctor, how many of your family members, colleagues, and old classmates have you reached out to, inquiring about their health without them asking?
As a lawyer, how many of your family members, colleagues, and old classmates have you offered pro bono services to?
As a professional, how many of your family, colleagues, and old classmates have you helped for free?
How have you positively impacted people’s lives without expecting anything in return?”

David paused and added, “If you haven’t been doing this, please start today. Surprise people with help. It brightens and elongates life.”

Tears flowed down Dr. Saka’s face, and many in the hall wept as well.

LESSONS FROM THIS STORY:

1. Never ignore calls or messages from friends, classmates, colleagues, or family.

2. Don’t assume you know why someone is reaching out; you may not understand their need.

3. Remember that God is the true helper; we are simply messengers.

4. Be humble enough to admit when you can’t help.

5. Do not keep anyone waiting for help if you can not deliver it.

6. Help others when you can—it is a privilege, not an obligation.

7. Always remember, no one is irreplaceable.

Let us not be the cause of someone’s despair, or worse, their early death. You may not be able to save everyone, but failing to respond when you could have might send someone to their grave. Reach out. Help when you can. You never know how much of a difference you can make in someone’s life.

Be inspired.
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